This is a post for the Blogger’s Quilt Festival” http://amyscreativeside.com/category/bloggers-quilt-festival/
I choose this quilt to blog about because it is meaningful for me in many deeply personal ways. I hesitate to bring this up in a public forum, but many women are going to relate to this, sadly.
As a child I had vivid imagination and was reckless and unafraid of anything . I was loud, lively and loved life.
But after years s in an abusive marriage, I became a completely different person. I understand battered woman syndrome, it causes a withdraw from life and constant fear, loss of trust in yourself. They don’t leave because they are helpless in their own minds. It could be compared to a turtle who pulls it’s head into it’s shell for protection. When you distrust yourself , your judgement, you don’t take risks, you play life safe, you try to be invisible, stay unnoticed so you don’t attract attention to yourself. You see yourself as helpless, powerless, and that becomes a reality because you believe it to be true.
That was years ago, I got out. I was a single parent for much time after that.. I am now happily married and have 3 wonderful children. And slowly I began to work at healing. Learning to stick my head out a slowly, bit by bit.
Art has been one avenue that has helped to teach me to trust myself again. I think that’s why I began art quilting.
I can take risks . I even have opened my online art quilting business! That’s so big. This quilt was commissioned, the old me could never have done that, who would like anything I made? I am able to recommend my work and promote myself, and be proud of myself.
I think my new freedom is especially evident in designing and making of a new art piece. I have trust my instincts again, and other people trust me too because of that. Instead of hiding in a corner, I am shouting look at me “with my loud color choices and out of the box designs”.
This quilt was an especially risky one for me to make but I did it, and I love it! It is a proud moment for me personally.
This is not about self-pity, but how change is possible. It lies within ourselvess to make life what we want it to be. Think of Dorothy’s ruby red slippers. We do not have to accept bad circumstances in life passively. The power always was there within us the whole time. We just have to start to believe again. If we begin to think it and say it enough, we convince ourselves of the truth of it and that my dears, leads to change!